And Now For Something Completely Different.

I got an earful this weekend.  “Hey, what happened to the Tribe?  Damn, the Tribe is unwatchable.  Looks like the wheels have come off. That’s no slump, that’s an endless fall into a bottomless pit.”  And it goes on like that for awhile.

Here are my personal responses to some of the comments and questions I received, courtesy of my good friends at Monty Python:

How do you defend the Indians given their current performance? “Now, it’s quite simple to deal with a banana fiend. First, you force him to drop the banana. Then, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him helpless!”

That makes no sense, what are you saying?  “Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat’s piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark.”

Just admit that the Indians suck and they will never win 90 games.  “I don’t wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

So you think the Indians will turn it around?  “My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white”

You’re an idiot and the Tribe is exactly who we thought they were.  “Mt. Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb. It’s rather steep till it gets to the top but then it starts to slope away rather sharply…”

Yeah, go ahead, laugh it up; in one more day the Tribe will finally be out of first place.  “Now, I would just like to point out that this film is displaying a distinct tendency to become SILLY. Now, nobody likes a good laugh more than I do… except, perhaps my wife… and some of her friends. Oh, yes, and Captain Johnson. Come to think of it, most people like a good laugh more than I do, but that’s beside the point! I’m warning this film NOT to get SILLY again! Right!”

And did I mention that the Cleveland Indians are STILL in first place?  Remember, it ain’t over till it’s over… and it ain’t over. And I stand by my prediction that the Tribe will win 45 games by the end of June.


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