It’s About Time

Time just ran out for David Huff, which you had to see coming. Clearly he knew after his last performance that the window of opportunity had just slammed shut.  Hopefully Huff can get his groove back in Columbus and make it back here before the end of the season; he’s a young kid with a great attitude and enough good stuff to keep you hoping.

In the meantime, the team as a whole is quickly running out of real time to hit my totally arbitrary goal of 90 wins during the 2010 season.

By my latest calculations, we need a total of 64 wins out of the last 94 games, which is a .680 winning percentage, which is most definitely going to happen if:

We send Valbuena to Triple-A… we fine Trevor Crowe $5,000 every time he commits an error but give him a $5,000 bonus every time he gets extra bases… we force the team to take laps after each game  until someone other than Choo and Crowe learns to steal a base… we sissy slap Peralta, Kearns, Hafner and Branyan after each at bat in which hey strike out, which is over 200 times so far (Choo is exempt from this rule)… we make Carlos Santana the new hitting coach… we never place the pill into Sipp’s or Wood’s glove for the remainder of the season… we make Chris Perez the official king of the bullpen.

Finally, I would like to nominate Tom Neumann as the new mascot to replace our current over-the-hill Slider.

We will call him Tommy the Rantosaurus… and he will growl at fans and chew up baseballs and scare children.


3 Responses to “It’s About Time”

  1. T- bone Says:

    Are you actually admitting they can’t win 90 games? Are you actually starting to write your blog while you are sober? Lost 2 out of 3 to Pittsburgh. I think that says it all. Tommy the Rantosaurus would at least be entertaining to watch.

  2. exeqnation Says:

    Sing along with me kids:

    Here comes Tommy. There goes Tommy. Tommy the Rantosauraus.
    He has no friends ’cause he eats them all up, he’s Tommy the Rantosaurus.
    T-O-M-M-Y why? Don’t ask me, I’m afraid of this guy!
    He’s Tommy the Rant, oh Tommy the Rant, oh Tommy the Rantosaurus.

  3. T- bone Says:

    Beaten by a 47 year old pitcher with an 82 mph fastball last night. I think I can gather up some of my buddies from the old neighborhood and beat this team. Crazy Jimmy can cover the outfield, long-legged Mike can pitch and the rest of us can cover the infield. Should be an easy game. How ’bout it Jim, want to play catcher?

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