Austin “the Six Million Dollar Man” Kearns

After a crippled test pilot is rebuilt with nuclear powered limbs and implants, he serves as a unique outfielder for the Cleveland Indians.

Tell me you saw that coming. Grady Sizemore, yes. Travis Hafner, maybe. Austin Kearns, hardly. But it happened.

Last night the floodgates were opened and 18 hits poured in, resulting in 9 runs that caged the Angels and denied them the sweep.

Thank you Austin Kearns, thank you Shin Soo Choo, thank you Mitch Talbot. Thank you Cleveland Indians. And once again, thank you Manny Acta for letting Jensen Lewis sweat it out in the 8th inning for 36 pitches that loaded the bases. You made all the right moves at just the right time. Lewis had his stuff, he just couldn’t keep it down, but he needs to figure that out on the mound, not in the bullpen.

Yes Cleveland fans, there was sports excitement going on last night long after the Cavs game ended. You probably did not see it. You probably didn’t even know the Tribe was playing. Too bad, it was great entertainment.

Y’all ready for this? 9 down, 81 to go and it’s still April!


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