Hey, Um, Do You Remember That One Time…

Do you remember when the 2012 season started and, and no one thought the Cleveland Indians were going to be any good, so everyone just ignored them and then, um, then they lost 4 of their first 5 games and no one cared?  Remember that?

That was awesome.

Oh, an’ remember then they went on to win 10 of the next 15 games and ended April above .500 with an 11-9 record, and all the newspapers and sports talk shows were more interested in Detroit and Chicago and no one cared? Do you remember that?

That was awesome.

And then, and then, um the Indians won 16 of 30 games in May, sweeping the Detroit Tigers, but they ended the month with a ton of injuries and then they lost back-to-back series and nobody came to the games and Chris Perez went off on the fans and after holding onto first place the entire month, they dropped into 2nd place and everyone said “big surprise” and no one cared?  Do you remember that?

That was awesome.

And now Travis Hafner is out, but Matt LaPorta is coming back and Grady Sizemore is coming back and Hannahan is back and Cabrera and Santana seem fine and all the pitchers look fine, in fact, everyone looks fine, so it looks like the Indians could keep playing good enough to fight for first place all season.  Did you know that?

That’s a hoax, right?

 

Goodbye Chicago White Sucks

And so, our nemesis has been revealed. It’s not the dreaded Tigers after all.  It’s Robin Ventura’s Chicago White Sox.

Let me say this: I loved the idea of Chicago picking up Robin Ventura as a much needed replacement for Ozzie Guillen.  But I hate the Chicago White Sox. Even when I lived in Chicago I never paid any attention to them.

Once an Indians fan, always an Indians fan… or a traitor (see the Hatfields and McCoys for reference).

So can our new arch enemy pose a real threat? Uh, not really.  Yeah, Chicago has some okay pitching and a couple of mashers, but these guys usually implode before the season gets too long in the teeth.

But the Tribe – barring too many serious or lasting injuries – is built for the long haul. Once we get past the All Star break, we will roll over the Sox like an army of steamrollers.  And that will be that.

Sing me the song Jimmy: 27 down, 63 to go… We’re on the Road to 90.

Time to Smoke the Peace Pipe… or Whatever.

Apparently everyone is mad; not just angry, but mad, as in everyone has taken leave of their senses.  Here is my advice:

Cleveland Fans:  Show up and grow up.  This is our team and they are awesome, so do your best to support them.  You don’t have to become a devout homer, just be a good fan.

Chris Perez: Just pitch and don’t bitch.  You had the support of this city since the day you got here.  Don’t boo-hoo over a couple of stupid fans; you’re bigger than that.  And we love you.

Cleveland Media: More reporting and less distorting.  Yes, we have the lowest attendance in the big leagues, thank you for pointing this out over and over and over and over again.  We also have one of the lowest payrolls and one of the poorest economies… not to mention the crappiest weather.  These are not excuses, these are facts.

Mark Shapiro:  Don’t spin, just win.  You don’t have to apologize for Chris Perez.  Hell, Chris Perez doesn’t even have to apologize.  He has as much right to lash out as the ignorant “fans” who boo him.  Instead, let’s support him with a competent left fielder or a strong right handed bat.

USA Today: WTF, you suck.  The Indians have been playing fantastic baseball all season and you – like the Clevelanders who do not go to the games – never give us any ink.  But now that there is controversy, you are all over it. You suck, which explains why your circulation is down for the third consecutive year… like our attendance.

Now can we all just please get along? Please? I came to watch baseball, not a soap opera.

22 down, 68 to go.

P.S. How about a promotion like 10-cent beer night… or maybe we can all bring our disco…

Who Is Your Favorite Indian?

As a young boy, Christian (my youngest) created a common refrain that was uniquely his own:  What was your favorite thing?

It was a seemingly innocuous five word phrase that typically elicited all kinds of high energy response.  What is your favorite food?  What is your favorite ride at Cedar Point?  What was you favorite scene in that movie?  What is your favorite video game?  Every day.  Every occasion.  What is your favorite?

To be honest, even now, I am not entirely certain how it got started and/or why he did it.  Was it a social experiment to see what people would say?  Was he just comparing notes relative to the things he liked?  Did he just enjoy getting people excited about their favorite things? Or was he just messing with everyone?

Anyway, after being gone for a week and spending way too much time listening to random business travelers tell me about the Red Sox and the Mets and the Braves  – I got to thinking about Christian’s refrain.  Who is my favorite Indian right now?

Excluding new guys like Lowe and Damon and Kotchman, and not including guys who are currently not playing on the big stage – Sizemore and LaPorta and Chisenhall – there are still a lot of players to choose from.  But who is my favorite?

Chris Perez is awesome, filthy, in-your-face, as is Jack Hannahan.  Love these guys.  Cabrera and Santana and Kipnis are young studs.  Love these guys too.  Masterson is still masterful and Pestano is a  fireball.  And in the category of “guys who are full of potential” are Travis Hafner and Michael Brantley and Shin-Soo Choo.

But who is my favorite Indian?  Christian is not going to like this answer, but… Shelley Duncan.  Of course, knowing that I am a huge John Lowenstein fan would have made this choice more predictable.

I love this guy’s grit and determination.  I love this guy’s attitude and enthusiasm.  I love this guy’s consistency and dependability.  Yeah, I can hear my brother Kevin right now:  “consistently bad.”

Shelley’s only played in 28 games this season, and his batting average is flatlined at .200.  But he is there if and when you need him, ready to go at a moment’s notice. Great attitude, great hustle, good production, good guy, classic baseball oddball.

Back on September 14, 2007, before a game between the Yankees and Red Sox at Fenway Park, Duncan wrote “Red Sox Suck!” along with his autograph on a 10-year-old Red Sox fan’s notebook. Duncan later apologized to the boy’s family, saying he got caught up in the excitement of the Yankees – Red Sox rivalry.

My kind of guy.  I like him.  He is my favorite.

Memo to ESPN: You Ignore the Indians, We Ignore You.

Last week, while watching ESPN coverage of the MLB, the sportscasters were all giddy about Tampa Bay starting the season at an amazing 18-8 record.  A year ago, the Tribe started their season at 18-8, but ESPN was not all that excited.

And yesterday, after taking two out of three from the mighty, mighty Rangers and handing the whirling Darvish his first loss of the season and further cementing its position in first place and watching Chris Perez take his 11th save of the young season… after all that, what did ESPN talk about last night?

Well, they didn’t talk about how wonderful our Cleveland Indians are.  No mention of the team’s 15-11 record.  No mention of the two players now batting over .300 (Cabrera and Kipnis).  No mention of the more than 100 walks we’ve taken from opposing pitchers.  No mention of the pitching staff studs – starters, relievers and closer – who just keep churning.

So to you, ESPN, the “Worldwide Leader in Sports”, I would simply like to say:  Thank you.

We don’t need the attention.  We don’t want the attention.  We don’t care about ESPN anymore than ESPN cares about us.  We just want to play… and win.

In the words of Chris Perez, “You hit us, we hit you. Period.”

15 down, 75 to go.

[Editorial Note: I will be traveling the entire week and my be unable to post... feel free to quietly celebrate.]

To the Haters.

Here’s to the haters.  The grumps. The grouches.  The sadsacks.  The quick to judge.

The ones who see the worst in everything.

They do not like the Cleveland Indians.  And have no faith in their potential.

You can argue with them, present facts, offer statistics, make your case, appeal to their better nature.  About the only thing you can’t do is reason with them.

Because they are haters.

They whine.  They cry.  They complain. They lie.  They make excuses. They contribute nothing to the conversation.

Maybe they can’t help themselves.  How else can you look at a team that is in first place, and cry that they aren’t better.  Or watch them win series after series, and simply belittle their opponents.  Or watch a player hit a double, but moan because he doesn’t run faster.

We feel sorry for these people.  While some see them as the haters, we see loneliness.

Because the people who are angry enough to hate the Indians, really just need a hug.

Go Tribe.  13 down, 77 to go.

Johnny, We Hardly Knew Ye…

If this were the Plain Dealer, I guess I would say something punderful like:

GRAMPS GETS CRAMPS, BUT TRIBE GOT THAT JIBE.

But this ain’t your grandfather’s newspaper, this is my blog.  So let’s  just say it was swell to see Johnny D in an Indians uniform for as long as it lasted.  Apparently there is some really bad mojo in the Indians outfield.  I, for one, am hoping he is back in the line-up tonight (and yapping in Shin-Soo Choo’s ear).

Still, all’s well that ends well.  And last night’s game ended well indeed.  Thank you very much Jack Hannahan, Travis Hafner and Carlos Santana.  Thank you very much Chris Perez (and Pestano and Smith).

In case you missed it (Kevin), the Indians are still in first place.  We got a long way to go, but we got a lot of time to get there.  And it is going to be a blast for the entire journey on the Road To 90 Fantasy Tour Bus.

So here is my advice: either get on board or get outta town.

12 down, 78 to go.

Oh, The Places You’ll Not Go… With Larry Dolan as Your Owner.

Seriously.  Does anyone other than Larry Dolan look at last Night’s line-up and think, “Yeah, this is a line-up that can contend for a championship.”?

But then again, does anyone believe that Larry Dolan is actually watching last night’s game?  Does he even care?

Yes, Johnny Damon is now in a Tribe uniform and he looked great sitting in the dugout.  Meanwhile, Jason Donald (the other JD) is at the plate with and an anemic .184 batting average… and he’s not the worst batter in the line-up.  Lou Marson is batting .083!

To be fair, Cleveland’s line-up (last night) actually has a higher batting average than the Black Sox, but that’s their problem, not ours.

Our problem is that Larry Dolan has tied Many Acta’s hands behind his back, handcuffed him to a chair, placed a patch over one eye and sent him out to manage a team.

You know me, I love this team and I believe that even with all the odds stacked against them, they will win.  Manny will find a way.

But, Oh, the places we could go… with just a little bit of aid…if that cheap old Larry Dolan wouldn’t be so darned afraid.  If he’d open up his wallet and he’d spend a couple dollars, then he wouldn’t hear our  hooting and he wouldn’t hear our hollers. If only he was Dr. Seuss, instead of Dr. Down, we’d find a way to make a change and turn this thing around.

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Kevin Says: Get a New Owner. I Say: Yeah, It’s Worked Out Great for the Cavs and Browns.

Forget for just a minute that my brother Kevin, who is without question one of the most intelligent sports fans I know, grew up a Miami Dolphins fan and thinks every Irishman has an obligation to root for Notre Dame.

He says the Indians are no good.  He says that every year.  But this year he has a new Mantra:  Get rid of the owners. “Every year they promise to pull the trigger and they simply lie… unless you think acquiring Derek Lowe is pulling the trigger.”

Kevin is right.  The Indians’ ownership, whose name I will not even say aloud, sucks.  They took a phenomenal franchise built by the Jacob’s ownership and turned it back into the Gabe Paul/Vern Stouffer/Nick Mileti/Ted Bonda/Steve O’Neill Indians of the 60s, ’70s and ’80s.

But this begs two questions:

1.  Does new ownership ensure improvement?  Um, have you taken a look at the Browns and the Cavs lately.  Seems to me this roller coaster ride only goes down.

2.  Just because the ownership sucks, does that mean the team has to suck? Um, have you take a look at the Cleveland Indians lately? Seems to me the roller coaster ride only goes up.

But hey, Kevin knows everything about sports and I am content to walk in his shadow.  But I do know one thing that he is clueless about.  This team will win 90 games this year, thanks to great pitching, good defense and opportune hitting.

11 down, 79 to go… bad ownership or not.

First Place or Bust

Don’t tell the haters or the doubters, but the 2012 Tribe has won 8 of 10 and is teetering on the brink of first place. Don’t tell my brother Kevin, but that Seattle team we just beat is the same Seattle team that beat Detroit tonight. Don’t tell Keith Law, but the Indians seem to be repeating their 2011 start, which he conveniently brushed away as an anomaly.

But let me tell you this: at the moment I don’t care that the Cavs are fighting their way into the basement. And I don’t care if the Browns take or trade their 4th pick. At the moment I don’t care about anything other than the fact that the Tribe is doing everything they can do to do what they are supposed to do… Win, win, win.

Thank you Jack Hannahan. Thank you Derek Lowe. Thank you Jason Kipnis, Thank you Travis Hafner. Thank you Manny Acta. And welcome to the bigs, Johnny Damon… can’t wait to see you in a Tribe uniform.

9 down, 81 to go.